Stef: The next hour me, josh, doula and midwife walk the halls. I go about 20 feet and have to lean on the rail on the wall, just like on tv! Everyone goes quiet during my contractions, and when it is over, magically water is presented to me and we push on. I’m moaning in the hallways. Nurses are smiling and cheering me on. I ask our midwife, “Where is everyone?!” I thought I ‘d be passing people like me. She said “Oh honey they are all hooked up on their spinal blocks” And sure enough I’d walk pass open door of women laying in bed watching tv, chatting with relatives. Hours from now I will be envying them.
Josh: When we entered the room, it was huge and there were tons of chairs. It was really comfortable. I remember that stef sat in one of the chairs once we entered the room while I was putting the bags down. And she told me later that the hospital bed takes too much importance in the birthing room, and she established right away that she planned to be out and about and not strapped in the bed, and I thought that was really cool.
Soon enough, they got stef onto the bed for 20 minutes of questioning and getting statistics (blood pressure, baby’s heartbeat) that wasn’t too bad until she had to get the saline well. It was tough because it seemed painful, but the nurse seemed to be sincere and stopped when she knew it was not going right and was right to get another nurse. It seemed like the nurse was doing her best.
Actually before that stuff, I guess back when stef was sitting in the chair and I was unloading the bags. The nurse was in there and introduced herself and I immediately gave her a copy of our birthplan and told her we were going for a natural birth and let me know if she had any questions and she was happy to take that and listen to me. While stef was getting her vitals checked during that 20 minutes there was another nurse coming in and out. She was at the computer and doing some papers and never looked any of us in the eye or told us anything about herself. In our birthing class we had learned to not let that happen. People coming in and out of the labor room should be required to tell us what there are doing and who they are because that gives us more equal footing. It takes the institution out, because it is dehumanizing for us to have people coming into our space and not paying attention to us. After about a min. of her clicking on the computer next to Stef’s bed I ask” Are you going to be helping us out today as well?” And she looked like a deer in headlights. She wasn’t expecting me to ask that, so she said in sort of a terse tone “I’m just uh, getting things together here” Or something like that. I was like oh, okay. And it was interesting because about a minute later she asked the nice nurse if there was anything else that she needed and then left for good. Maybe I didn’t need to say anything but it was frustrating having her open up medical supplies and shuffling papers around and not paying attention to us at all. And I think the nice nurse respected that and understood where I was coming from.
As we were walking the halls we had a big cup of water with a straw that me and the doula kept putting into stef’s face to keep her hydrated. It was second nature to me because I was used to keeping stef hydrated during pregnancy.
12:45pm- 3:00pm
Stef
At this point my contrax are getting stronger and Emily and our doula suggest I get into the shower and spend some time with josh. I hate going to the bathroom, basically because it means I have to change positions a lot, getting up, sitting on the loo, standing up again would always rip contractions through me. The shower feels good, and I’m swaying my hips in a hula hoop circle. I’m leaning against the wall. I’m starting to get tired now. I also feel like I have to poop. Which is not unusual for me. Yesterday in early labor, I probably poo’ed 4 times (hey this is birth here! It’s all going to be TMI!). But I don’t want to be interrupted with having to be monitored so I send josh out to inform them that I need five minutes alone. Josh is gone for a second before the midwife busts in with a smile on her face saying “So you’re feeling rectal pressure! Let’s check you.” It turns out that I am now 7-8 cm 80 percent effaced and -1 station. Everyone cheers! My doula says “We didn’t even see six!”I’m so pleased to be making progress, but getting anxious on how long this is going to take. At 2:15 its time for the tub. As soon as I step one foot in the tub I have to pee. Alone in the bathroom, I begin to ask “who would do this?!” I take a moment to remind myself to never ever do this again. In retrospect, I noticed that I hit my low morale points whenever I was alone. Having all those people in the room with me made the difference. Never once did I want drugs in the process. I was in too deep, and made too many promises to myself, I knew that this is what I wanted. But in that bathroom I thought simply “next time I’m getting the epidural!” So far I had been joking and laughing between contractions, but now, I have to completely focus on the breaks between.
I lie in the tub, and it is heaven. The contractions are still running through me and I feel tears running down my face. It is so painful and intense. Before another one starts I start to say “No, no, no!” Or sometimes I would be braver and say “okay here we go.” When it was over I would say “that was a tough one.” One piece of advice besides taking a complete break between the contractions, was that when the contraction was mostly over, I would “breathe it away”. I sit up cross legged in the tub and the doula is in my face helping me breath through them. Sometimes my voice would get high and they would remind me to make low sounds. Josh wipes tears from my face and I tell him that I’m scared. I’m worried how harder this is going to get, that I can’t handle it getting worse and that I can’t imagine having to push him out. It seems so impossible. They all remind me that I have been doing it and I am doing it. At this point the new assistant midwife in training comes in to observe. Everything is really quiet, peaceful as I labor in the tub.
Josh: The shower was a really great help to Stef. And it was also a nice thing to revisit since the shower in the early morning at home got cut off because the water got cold. So it was a good move. At this point Stef and I were still talking between contractions and I was tyring to keep things light hearted and make some jokes because I heard laughter can help progress. When I left to see if it was time to get the h/b checked again since it was planned every 30 mins, since stef didn’t want to hold them up using the bathroom. I went outside they were all ready to take the heartbeat, and when I said “stef had to go to the bathroom”, the midwife’s eyes perked up and said that it means that she might be having the baby and didn’t have to poop. They got stef out the shower and checked her and it was more great news that progress was being made, and then I think we tried a few different sitting positions and someone asked if we wanted to use the tub. Stef and I had wanted to use that because we heard that could be a great tool. So the midwife got that ready with the water. Stef got into the tub, and then as they were getting that together, someone asked me if I wanted to get into too. I made a joke that this was an opportunity that doesn’t come along all the time. I got in my trunks, and I whipped my shirt off because I thought I would be submerged in the water, but I was just on a seat where I was just up to my thighs. But stef enjoyed having me close. And for a good amount of time in the tub, stef wasn’t crying, her eyes were watery with tears. We poured water on her belly and talking her through it. The whole time whether it was in the shower or in the tub or anything up to this point, Stefanie handled everything like a champ. So from my perspective I could tell that things were getting more and more intense, especially in the tub. But still incredibly calm. While stef was having a contraction in the tub she didn’t scream but instead would maybe breath a little harder during the contractions. But it was all very peaceful and calm. Another point was that this entire time, I still had no concept of the timeline, I knew in the shower things were progressing, I knew things were moving forward, but I didn’t know if it was going to be another hour or another ten hours. I had no concept at all. On top of that, time didn’t have the same meaning. And stef asked me later, what was I doing while she was having contractions? I was basically looking at her face even though she had her eyes closed and just sorta being in the zone with her. I never thought this is going on forever, or when is the next part coming, I felt like I was very much in the moment with Stef. Two hours would feel like 15 minutes.
3:30
I’m checked and I’m at 8-9cm. I’m happy to know that I was in transition when I felt the fear and doubt. I know that was normal, I’m almost there. But in reality I have such tunnel vision. I ask our doula how much longer. And she said it could still be 2 hours. My midwife says that at this point exhaustion could be an issue. She makes three suggestions, 1. I can labor on my own, 2, she can break my water or 3, I can take some pain medication. I feel like the record player skips in my head. I cannot believe my midwife offered me drugs. But she went on to say that at this point exhaustion might make the next stage tough. Whatever, so not taking drugs. If I wanted drugs I would have asked for them long ago. There is no way I am going to have all these intense contractions under my belt to give in at the last minute. The midwife gives us a little time on our own to think about whether or not we want to break my water. On the one hand it could get things moving, but on the other hand if the baby is in a prosterior position then he will be difficult to turn once his head is pressed against the cervix.
Josh:We got out of the tub, and stef was checked and it was more great news on progress. We were moving around in different positions then. I still had no concept of the timeline, I was in the moment, so I was surprised that the midwife had an update on the options, with the water breaking or with the drugs. I was confused because it seemed like things were going well, and I guess her point was the exhaustion issue. I was really annoyed with the pain medication recommendation, and she knew we would ask if Stef wanted it. I was also annoyed with them talking exhaustion. Because if it was up to us, stef would be eating at will and with hospital polices we couldn’t do that. And we thought it was implied that the midwife would leave the room and let you eat, but she was there the whole time. But to me, Stef did not seem exhausted, it seemed she was handling every one as good as the last.
Stef Note: In retrospect, the midwife did leave the room right after talking about our options, but we didn’t think to eat!!
3:55p
I’m laying on my side with one leg in the stir-up and crazily I doze off between a contraction. It is the shittiest feeling in the world to wake up to one. When the contraction ends, all of a sudden I feel this pop and water just gushes out of me. I gasp and say “I think my water just broke” I’m smiling like crazy because it is so like on tv and how ironic it breaks minutes after our midwife wants to rupture them artificially. This next part is what will always stick in my head. I’m smiling and telling josh about it, and suddenly I get my first contraction with baby’s head right there on my cervix. It catches me totally off guard, it knocks the wind out of me and I just start yelling out of control. Our doula runs out to get the midwife. I don’t remember much of the next half hour. I do know that I have a cut on my hand from flailing my arms. I remember grabbing josh’s face and ears and burying my face in his shoulder with each contraction.3:55p
Josh: We didn’t feel comfortable breaking the water, and we at least had to discuss it. It was almost like a cosmic occurrence that once the midwife and her assistant left, and we were discussing options, Stef made a motion and a sound like she was pinched, and it was like “oh, my water just broke” It was almost like the decision was made for us by nature. Once the water broke the midwife came back in, that sort of began a new phase. You could def. tell the intensity with stef dealing with the contractions. After her water broke, stef still handled them extremely well with some that were a little tough with more noise, but this was the first time, because even throughout the whole pregnancy, stef made it look easy. And this was the first time were things seemed really really intense and she had to deal with it.
Next: Pushing baby out.
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